Zane Safrit

6 Steps to a Pretty Good Apology

 Seeking perfection is a sucker's path to futility, frustration, lost opportunities and relationships. As a recovering perfectionist, I share that truth based on experience and research.

That's one reason why I chose to not hype the title with 'perfect.' 

Any expertise with apologies came through my regular, sometimes daily, practice in delivering them. Practice never makes perfect, but it does mean I can practice less frequently.  Still, I'm pretty sure I'll have more practice sessions in the near future.

Here's what I've learned so far. I hope it helps.

Apologize Immediately. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate. Apologize immediately. Hesitating implies prevarication. You're hiding something. It raises question in your recipient’s mind like: Why’d you wait so long.  Their question, spoken or not, distract them from hearing your message. Suspicions do that and apologies are meant, in part, to eliminate suspicions. Why wait when waiting only adds to the challenge?

Plus, you'll feel better. It's like lancing a blister. Once it's lanced, you feel better.

Speak Directly, Simply, Honestly. My favorite opening line as CEO of a small company was  my name, my title and then “We really hosed this situation” or “We really screwed up.”

• Do not hide behind Statements of Apology that your organization's PR resources put out for you.

• Do not hide behind a PR-Spin campaign.

• Do not rationalize or justify. All the other companies are doing it... won't work just like All the other kids did it didn't work with your parents.

You, corporate or personal, created the need for the apology. Only you can deliver an apology that can heal the wound.

Listen. After  introducing myself and the reason for my call, I say nothing. That gives those you offended the floor to speak, to vent, to rant, to threaten. They’ve earned it. Our mistakes gave it to them.

Do not blame others. Well, we can't find good people...or They did it....those other people/vendors/suppliers/partners...No. Don't.

You delivered the problem by hiring and training (or not) your staff and those other partners/etc.

Ask for Their Solutions. Ask the offended party what they need from you to make it right. At this point, I ask What do I need to do to make it right for you? or Tell me what I need to do to make it right for you. 

Notice I didn't mention staying a customer. Nor did I mention money.

Some readers may gasp. Oh my god, they could say anything....! But they never did. Frankly, I was glad they didn’t, because I would have honored their request. Treat people with respect, empower them with the tools to make the right decision and nearly every time they will make the right decision, right for both of you.

Follow-through, follow-up.

Follow through on this learning opportunity to make sure processes and people are in place to insure this same mistake is never repeated.

Share with them the impact of this mistake including if this customer remained a customer.

Show how it impacted not just the customer, but everyone’s day.

These are tricky steps. No one wants to revisit a mistake privately much less among their peers. But, if you've created a culture where mistakes are handled as learning lessons...then you can have this conversation. And, if you haven't, you'll find out and can start building that culture before the next mistake happens. And it will.

Ask them the same question you asked your customer:

What do we need to do to make this right for the future? 

Follow-up with the customer. Here's the pot at the end of the rainbow. Disclaimer: I hate introducing the idea of rewards here. Apologies are required in and of themselves. They are the right thing to do if you care, if you are a person of integrity.

SUMMARY

Apologies are also the right thing to do if you plan to stay in business. Satisfied Customers Tell Three Friends, Angry Customers Tell 3,000. Pete Blackshaw, Nestle's Global Head of Digital & Social Media wrote this book. An apology will insure you avoid angry customers. But, more than that, I've found an open, sincere, direct apology made in person not only avoids angry customers but it creates loyal, even evangelical customers.It's like the test of a relationship. They've seen you at your worst and you behaved with dignity and professionalism. Now, they can trust you.They can endorse you without hesitation. They did, too.

I wasn't ruminating about this issue of apologies and business. But, The Apology Peace Process by Jeanne Bliss, triggered the desire to write this post. Check it out. She's an expert on customer service and she writes at Chief Customer Officer. Her book, I Love You More Than My Dog: Five Decisions that Drive Extreme Customer Loyalty in Good Times and Bad, is excellent.

 

Business Execution for Results: A Review

If you lead a small to medium-sized business you constantly seek new solutions, especially ones that offer steps you can take today to see results building over time but starting today.  Here’s your solution.

I'm an avid reader, always have been. I've read a lot of business books and I’ve led a small business. I recommend you read Business Execution for Results: A Practical Guide for Leaders of Small to Mid-Sized Firms. It is a very, very good book, among the best, most usable business books I’ve read.

As a writer, he does thingsthat make the reading very pleasant, very inspiring, very engaging. Very good.

He offers personal stories, anecdotes, little clips. They’re genuine, sincere, well-organized to capture your attention, engage you in the story that illustrates the next lesson. I found myself thinking...I can relate...I am relating....I see, feel, remember this personally.  And Stephen’s writing is very crisp, very concise in taking you from these stories to the principle with each chapter...and as important to the steps you’re going to take to generate the results you want to see. No hitch in the reading flow. VERY nice.

I loved the beginning where he shares the story of  his 5-year plan to become a champion body-builder. Pow! Who does not relate to that story? Ok, maybe we're not body-builders, but everyone relates to a goal they set when they were young and how they went out and accomplished it. They, we, forgot how to do that. We forgot how, while it all flowed seamlessly, effortlessly, we attributed it to the luck of youth or its ignorance; we didn't know better. But those thoughts are irrelevant now as we have Stephen and his book to show us, remind us, how we can create and use that same process...methodically. Diligently. For our business.

Stephen uses the word ‘you’ frequently. Too many authors abuse the word ‘I’ or forget there’s a reader involved in their book. Using ‘you’ as often as he does shows he understands you, the reader and your needs and why you’re reading this book. That’s the sign of not only a good writer, but a good leader. Stephen’s both.

And for small to medium-sized business executives, who better to learn from than a peer, one who’s walked more than a few miles of their same journey and can point out the fastest path to the goals they share and that Stephen’s accomplished throughout his career.

You’re busy; I understand. Stop reading my review and buy his book.

Advertising on Social Media Comes Up Against...Wait, What?

Facebook learned that the hard way last week. After failed attempts to get the social network to remove pages glorifying violence against women, feminist activists waged a digital media campaign that highlighted marketers whose ads were found alongside those pages. Nissan and several smaller advertisers temporarily removed their ads from the site.

Amid mounting public pressure, Facebook acknowledged that its systems to identify and remove such content had not worked effectively and promised to improve those processes. The company began removing the pages in question.

The episode underscored a conundrum for social media sites forged from the philosophy that free speech should thrive on the Internet: will they be able control content created by their users, so that advertisers are not embarrassed by material beyond their control?

“Certainly advertisers have a singular purpose, they want to reach consumers in a positive way,” said David Reuter, the vice president for corporate communications at Nissan Americas. “It is up to the social companies to create an environment that provides that level of support and safety for the companies.” Advertising on Social Media Comes Up Against Free Speech

The title of this article has since been changed to: The Distasteful Side of Social Media Puts Advertisers on Their Guard.

I saved the link and the text, waiting for the confusion to clear before I posted my thoughts. Here I am, five or six days later and either the confusion hasn't cleared or I was right the first time I read this article.

Facebook's claim to fame was its ability to generate ads. Anyone on any site can generate ads. Facebook carried its claim into Big Brother targeted accuracy by mining all the data we, its members offered for free, to Facebook as we shared it with each other. A treasure trove of likes and dislikes and conversations and threads and pages and fans and members and inter-related conversations...all for free. Behind the scenes their vast array of coders and algorythms would churn out precise targets for advertisers who would pay premium dollars to display their ads in front of Facebook subjects, er members, who met very precise criteria.

A whole new world awaited us all: advertisers and consumers. The promise, if delivered, would be mutually satisfying. Sure, as consumers we would continue to be interrupted; but we would be interrupted with ads for products and services meaningful to our lives. Advertisers would find the holy grail of advertising, highly-qualified leads whose quality was based on...scientific data, gathered relentlessly and scrupulously.

But, we ran into a glitch. All of us, see. Facebook censors seems unable to discriminate between pictures of breast cancer survivors (bad, pornographic),  breast-feeding mamas (bad) and glorifying violence against women (good, good for advertisers too)

The irony here is that it's social media users not the social media sites that: 1) alerted the advertisers that their ads appeared on pages glorifying violence; 2) the social media sites refused to either remove the sites glorifying violence against women and even continued to place ads on those sites, implying... some connection between the brands and those messages of misogynistic violence. ( That is the implication, right? What advertiser wants its ads displayed on a site whose values it does not share?)

That is the power of social media, to better align advertisers with the values of their consumers. That changes the dynamic a bit, frankly I'm surprised smart and savvy columnists struggle not to understand that change. Consumers and our organizations are driving the message, not brands and advertisers.

If the columnist and their editor understood this better they would change the title of their column to Social Media Users Help Advertisers Understand Where Their Ads Appear.

Social media sites thrive and grow to the extent they understand that dynamic. Facebook's stock performance, described as infamous in Forbes, indicates it continues to struggle with that understanding.

 

 

 

Related articles

Facebook bows to 'hate' campaigners

Facebook to crack down on hate speech - Los Angeles Times

Silicon Alley Insider: How Much Is A Facebook 'Like' Worth To A Brand?

Can You Solve Your Culture Conflict?

The USDA is the same organization that designates what food is officially organic and how much untreated animal manure is too much for our open waterways. Well, to date, they haven't cried Uncle or Stop or issue standards on how much is too much; we'll keep waiting.

That's quite a range. 

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote:

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

But, can it be said that the FDA has a first-rate intelligence when it accommodates two opposing principles: approving food as 100% organic while allowing twice as much untreated manure to enter the open waterway from the CAFO’d hogs in one Iowa county as the sewage from the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area. (Iowa has 99 counties.) Link.

While an first-rate intelligence can hold two opposing thoughts, can a consumer embrace the USDA as a trusted source for food safety?

What's all this got to do with your business?

• Where's your culture conflict?
• Where is your culture's bi-polar duality expressed in a dysfunctional manner in the markeplace?
• Where do you say one thing, on your website, and execute another in your rules and tactics?
• Where in your employee engagement do you say 'we love you' or 'you're the most important part of our success 'and then silence or ignore their suggestions or needs?

As a leader you're very likely insulated by org chart and careers from this cognitive dissonance of your company's culture conflict. It happens; it's not personal. We all are constantly re-defining ourselves as we move through life. And since companies are people, too, my friend, companies are re-defining their brand, their culture, their identity.

Joss Whedon* offered this insight at a recent commencement address he gave:

You have, which is a rare thing, that ability and the responsibility to listen to the dissent in yourself, to at least give it the floor, because it is the key — not only to consciousness, but to real growth. To accept duality is to earn identity. And identity is something that you are constantly earning. It is not just who you are. It is a process that you must be active in.

This contradiction, and this tension … it never goes away. And if you think that achieving something, if you think that solving something, if you think a career or a relationship will quiet that voice, it will not.

Every company at one time was personal. Very personal. Every company was built on relationships. And then bureaucracy and rules, departments and titles, creeped in. ( Some of those rules and titles may prefer to handle dissent with a different approach. Rule it out, discourage it, punish its advocates. Ask GM how that approach worked.)

Now you may not even know the name of your most recent hire. It may be months or years since you spoke to a customer, one on one. That's very different than reading a report, even if it's a report of their collective or individual Net Promoter Scores.That's very different than considering personas, too.

That's where the culture conflict arises. In that process, that transition, from a culture of relationships, of knowing and experiencing, of passion, of looking in the eye honesty to one of distanced and nuanced reports, of territories and postures, saying what is thought to be right....for some other audience, for some other reason...you (the corporate and personal 'you') stopped listening to the dissent, to the dissenters and disruptors in yourself (corporate and personal selves).

Somewhere along the line the USDA lost sight of its purpose to protect our  food supply. Its big now. Vast and anonymous. Reports and procedures and unknown decision-makers for unknown, unspoken stakeholders. No one's listening to...dissent. Sound familiar?

What if Tom Vilsack, the head of the USDA and former Governor of Iowa, stopped reading reports and making speeches to Chambers of Commerce, left his/her smart phone turned off. What if he went out to a grocery store and met with the ultimate customer of the USDA: shoppers. Families and kids, grandparent and parents. What if he asked them:

• Do you feel safer?
• Are we helping you make better choices for the health of your family?
• What can we do better?

But for you, what if you walked out of your office, sat on a park bench and called a customer?

• What if you asked the three questions of the Net Promoter Score? Then you could hear the customer's voice as they answered?

What if you just asked them:

• How do we make your life better, easier, simpler, happier?
• Do we?
• What can we do better?

Now. What if you did that with your employees? I don't mean just your direct reports. I mean the newest hire. What if you sat down and asked that person:

• What do you hope to achieve here?
• What could you achieve?
• What would you need to achieve that?
• What stands in your way?
• Where's our culture conflict? Where's the gap between our promise and our delivery?

What if you made this a regular habit? Walked outside that box you've created.

What if you began to reconcile your company's culture now with what it had been, back when it was exciting and fun and crazy and you were growing?

What if?

It’s Because They Care

Customers are like parents, you know. They ride you. They tell you to do things you don’t want to do. They hold you accountable. They make you honor your promises, make you listen to and be aware of others. Pick up clothes, do your own laundry. They insist you learn how to iron your own clothes and order from the menu and chew your order with your mouth closed. You’ve learned how to handle a knife and fork well enough so that you leave any remnants from your menu choices on your plate and nowhere else like your chin, the table or your shirt.

Every night they ask you to do your homework. And if you forget, they help you remember in ways that are increasingly loud and uncomfortable until the choice to not do your homework is less pleasant than the choice do it. One day you’re surprised with a positive test score and you connect the results of that discipline, not their tactics of course, to the result.

Still, you’re a kid. You have lessons to learn and you’re anxious to get ahead, reach your goals. Older kids, kids you idolize, already have. So you take some chances, you skip a few classes, hang with the wrong kids. KaBAM they crash your world with complaints and reminders and punishment.

It’s because they care. It’s because they see your potential. It’s because they’re partnered with you; they’ve attached their life to you. They’ll help you every step of the way.

Customers are the same way. They can be, if you give them a chance. They believe your promise. They believe in you. They trust you enough to risk their business, their career, their mortgages, the majority of their day on your promises and the potential they see in you. Their discipline is the best discipline. Their suggestions to improve are the best for you to hear. Their complaints are the most painful. On the other hand, like parents, they are the most forgiving.

Listen to what they tell you. Honor your promises. Eat your vegetables. Do your homework. Practice, practice, practice. Listen to those around you. Play nice with the other kids. Let one or two go first. Get better. When you screw up. And you will, we all do; them, too. Call them, ask them how to fix it. Ask them how to make it right.

They’ll tell you. They’ll tell you because they care. They’ll tell you because they believe. They’ll tell you because you matter and because they’ve attached themselves to you.

Those are the customers that matter.

It's because they care.